Rockstar Ravings

becoming a cheese puff

2009-10-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

well, I did n't know this blog was going to be about food, well maybe it is just temporarily about food,don't worry...

I have been in more of a funk than usual lately and so this writing may just stink and be no fun at all for anyone who happens to wander in.I am not going to write anything particularly coherent, so be it.

Stream of consciousness and all of that. So I feel bummed out not interested in band practice, unwilling to try to find a gig out of sheer apathy, well maybe not apathy , just the feeling like everything is like wading through mud with weights around my neck, if you know what I am saying.

So I said this was about food, about feeding yourself to get out of or into a mood, out of boredom and fear.You have to have courage if yu do things without a crutch or supprting an addiction. What do people who don't have addictions do?

well they exercise and breathe and eat crunchy food and leaves and twigs.

what is there when you do not eat or drink to fill a void or take up room? There is just you and then there is the stuff you try to avoid doing or thinking.

It is possibly a waste of time to keep dodging that bullet. Might as well get excited to see what new thing there will be when you give up your vices, whatever they may be; the internet, chocolate TV...

The thing about getting into a funk is that it involves all limbs of your body and weighs on your mind too. Thoughts seem slow and your vision hazy and your body heavy and lethargic.

The only thing to do is the exact opposite of what you want to do. You know, lift some weights , go jogging go out with friends...blegh.

But I think it may be a process and be part of the journey so what the hell?I feel like I have been doing so many fake things in the robot mode and it is a bit like 2 steps forward one step back, no momentum limited progress and always not giving 100% effort.

I am thinking it may be best to just really come from an authentic place instead of trying to be something I am not, desperately searching for a way to squeeze through .Well that feels false anyhow.

If you actually read this I hope you are not bummed out to.

speaking of pancakes

2009-10-08T20:54:00.000-07:00

I am sorry ahead of time (this apology is for my SO),but your post Top Chef Pancakes sucked.

Now don't get me wrong, Paul knows his way around a kitchen but every few meals he gets on some healthy kick and gets all manly and take charge in a nutritious way, if you know what I mean.

Oh...he can go on all day about the amount of butter I put on a baked potato and these are the days I am done eating and he is still chewing slowly and if you listen you can hear him smugly counting his bites to ensure proper digestion while the dog and I wait by our empty dishes. Ok, sometimes I am faster than the dog, but really he has polite manners as dogs go...

Anyway, The last pancakes made in this house had fresh blueberries and there was oil in the pan and I smeared butter on each individual cake(shhhh, don't tell Paul) and the edges were crispy and they HAD A TASTE.

So this time Paul decides to go all health freak on me and puts no oil or butter,well it is a non-stick pan you say...well, so what!! and made with soymilk,WTH!

So I told him that his pancakes were a 3 on a scale of one to ten and that they were ok for foam rubber .I like to be honest you see.

Earlier we were eating Bold Chex Mix and he told me we were going to change our ways and not eat Chex Mix and their ilk anymore. So I said what was wrong they are 50% fat free and he complained about the salt.

Salt is good for you ,I told him .(I think) Is it?Well, best not to worry about these unknowns I always say!

Here is another thing; the guy eats his salad with no dressing at all (sometimes without utensils ) and he will not salt his rice and veggies, but he admits it tastes better when I add salt for him. Here s another word for salt buddy-it's called flavor! take a hint...

The Top Chef people would come down hard on his salt(flavor) free dry barn scraps. It would be so humiliating, I can just see Padma mournfully shaking her head at Tom and saying..."The gnochi was bland and the ceviche lacked acid"...

That said I have to say that when Paul cooks, ( like a normal human),(when he is not having some nutritional crisis),he is a very good cook and he gets the flavor profile correct. Who the heck says flavor profile BTW? sigh...

On another food note my friend J was telling me about some book(forgotten book title)about how there is some kind of conspiracy to get people addicted to eating certain processed foods and at certain restaurants, I believe TGI Fridays, Chillis and Taco Bell were mentioned.

Any way she said that they added spices and contrasting textures to get you to eat more and to want more.This is news? Well forgive me for saying, J, but isn't that what people normally do to make food taste good?

Have'nt you heard the scientific word yummy?

The one point I could see was the highly unnecessary wrapping of tacos and burritos. Mmmmnn, its a super -stuffed hard taco covered in a layer of beans and cheese,(or as i like to call it glue ), surrounded by a soft taco deep fried in an adobo burrito and stuffed in a Parmesan foccacia bread. (sinful, i gasp!)

Instead of working to get my beach body, I wish I could wear a taco like that to the beach instead of or on my head on a bad hair day.

That would be sooo cool dude.

Top Chef

2009-10-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

I love that show seriously!

But I am not sure why...I would not even like half the food they make since I am so picky and they make only tinyfood for elves and super models.

They make Sushi quite often and I can't stomach raw fish and they cook with obscure ingredients like a tarot chip with a fish ball on top with some tree sap glaze .

I guess I am pretty ignorant and I am not a foodie any way.

I am happy with a bacon wrapped scallop and a Keebler cookie honestly or a bacon wrapped Keebler will do-oh i am sorry i mean panchetta!!

My SO and I watch the show religiously and we get dangerously hungry as we watch and we are forced to eat unTop Chef like things like heaping bowls of Cinnamaon Toast Crunch and the baby's Teddy Grahams and the baby's Goldfish crackers .(don't worry we won't eat the baby)

If we don't eat like this while watching Food Porn we will snap at some point and end up eating chicken mcwhattits at midnight.

I feel like a food heathen eating this food(if you can call it that) when I should be eating quails egg with parsnip foam in an immersion of duck fat.

Ah...Top Chef I love you, well that's that! gotta go ,Paul just made us pancakes-Take that Top Chef! whazza!!!

Blog vs. Diary

2009-10-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

When I was a young we had things called diaries, well actually I just had a spiral notebook or journal...or perhaps a scroll and stick , actually a spray can and a brick wall would work or a knife and a piece of wood. When we were young we had things called gloria vanderbilt and members only or actually a pattern from minnesota fabrics and some yarn...but I digress.

I remember I used to scrawl pages of very dark, deep poems. Today they would call that Emo, but is still the same crap. I would also write my lusty fantasies of the hot guy of the moment and I would have been mortified if anyone ever read my leagues of pages of drooling and my tortured poems (albeit profound and full of never before heard revelations i am sure).

Nowadays we let it all hang out in our blogs or myspace, twitter or face book. If I had done this when I was a teen , i would have had to take my numerous spirals around to friends and strangers houses and ring the bell waving my journals at them like a lunatic.

Not to mention having them try to make sense of my doodles and bad handwriting.

Now I can just log on and instantaneously fill you in on my every thought;(albeit profound and full of never before heard revelations...)lucky you!

I blame Jerry Springer for everything , because he made it cool to reveal our deepest secrets of being a Ho or a baby Daddy or just to beat the crap out of ugly people who feel the need to take their shirts off.

And lets not forget Girls Gone Wild. These poor girls do not even get the consolation of Mardi Gras beads!

My point being that we are so used to over exposure that we have lost the mystery of keeping and don't forget hiding the secret diary . I remember trying to keep my brother from reading it and taunting me with the embaressing contents.

Nowadays we will even be friends with our siblings on Face book and they will have nothing to bribe you with because everyone already knows everything and if they don't they soon will hear about it on Jerry Springer.

So blog versus diary...I am just not sure. If I tried to write with an actual writing implement(you remember a pencil or pen) I would get writing cramp before the end of a grocery list.

So in todays world I scrawl my dark, tortured(albeit profound,blahablah..) song lyrics on very small note pads and scratch paper and usually I cannot read some of the more important words later and I save the computer for anything that is over 30 words. I have even taken to drawing pictures of chicken and eggs to make it easier at the grocery store, you should try it...ok ,I once again digress.

Stopping now before I go into texting and emails...gah! We will save that for another occasion.

BBS-Alxs

Kanye West

2009-10-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

Maybe I am in the minority, but I don't have a problem with Kanye West's sudden "appearance" at the VMA's.
He simply cannot help himself and he says what he thinks as he thinks it. He has no self-censor or inner Oprah and that works for me.
He is simply like a naughty child and it would have been all good if Russell Brand had merely patted him on the head and sent him to sit in Time Out with a Dunce cap on his head.
Or given him a good shagging:}
Maybe after letting Taylor Swift pop on his nose with a newspaper.
Poor Kanye!

Post Beach

2009-10-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

Yep...and I really am in a chipper mood!

And more sarcastic than usual...It really is good to be back in Ol' Virginny-home of the Metropolitan all you can eat traffic buffet and every single allergen on the Eastern seaboard.

Well, I have been back 2 nights and once again I am faced with the swirling thoughts implanted by the Craigslist classified Employment section. I find I want to do none of these jobs, and that seems to be mirrored by the fact that so far no one wants to hire me, so I guess there is some justice in that.

Anyway, as I have returned from my peaceful, lax beach nirvana, I find myself resembling a bitter, jaded old woman and I already have the 4 starter cats. I am relishing thoughts of my annoying"MIL"and find myself fantasizing fictitious reasons to be annoyed with her. Which doesn't make any sense because I have so many real ones.

Idly, I wonder if my annoyance with her is a reflection of my own character flaws and insecurities...and then I think,no.

She is just annoying.

I wonder if bitchiness and being chronically pissed off is natures little way, a warning signal if you will, of telling you to detour, abort mission. Maybe it tells you it is best to make encounters with unpleasant people brief, if at all,in fact run in the opposite direction.

This seems reasonable to me...as one person i talked to recently said,"I am not aidin' and abbetin"

This is a very wise soul who does not sucked into any melodramas because she simply ditches them. Very clever, grasshopper!

Tonight I should be doing something to organize my life, playing guitar or cleaning, but alas I am here typing lamely with the barest hope I will get off my ass and do something that does not involve chocolate or wine,preferably both.

Maybe I need to find a way to combine my vices with my chores or practice.When I win my Grammy I am going to thank Hershey's instead of God.

That actually makes a lot of sense! What woman has not turned to Chocolate after a break up, possibly with a chaser of bag of chips.

And that movie Chocolate was rather spiritual. See? Chocolate may be the path of the seer , the mystic,the evolved soul, not just the path of the fatty.

pleased to meet me

2009-09-22T11:57:00.000-07:00

OK, so this blog is not supposed to entertain, offend or incite change to the world structure.

It is not meant to be an expose' on my life, although it may be an expose' of my poor grammar and spelling and possibly an example of the state of the public school system circa late '80's.

This blog is merely an experiment.

An experiment in what you ask...well, actually you just want me to get to the point and that is precisely the point, you see.

Clear as mud, you say. Oh, go back to your googling then, see if I care!

Well anyway this blog entertains the possibility(small as it may be) of illuminating a certain fuzzy, wandering mind.

So if that frightens you then look away, back to your FaceBooking with you! Please, I was getting sick of you anyway.

What you read here will mostly have no rhyme or reason and possibly make you gain weight eating chips out of boredom , so please stop reading now, it will only get worse.